PSS- "Post-Show Syndrome"

So if you have ever been a part of a performance such as a play or musical you probably will know exactly what I am talking about when I talk about PSS. PSS or Post-Show Syndrome is what I call after I have finished a show and my body then decides to make itself known to me. It has been ignored and mistreated for at least 6 weeks due to late night rehearsals and the stress that goes along with it. Closing night comes and goes and the next morning you feel horrible... like I don't want to do anything but stay in bed bad! Well that has definitely hit me but since I am now on the other side of the curtain PSS means a bit more.

Let me explain myself....well...never finished...maybe I will explain in another post.

Spiritual Blog...that's a new one for me.

Hey so I don't usually use my blog as my spiritual journal but since that is probably something nicer to read then my vents, I thought why not. So today was a 5th Sunday and we had a combined meeting and we talked about the Temple. They said in the preparing for the temple book it talks about how your temple interview is looking at your patterns. Your physical and spiritual patterns. That hit me today because my patterns have not really been something I am proud of. I could go into all the excuses of how I have a new job that has become my life and I am exhausted when I come home and I don't want to do anything. But it is not healthy...physically or spiritually. I always tell my kids to not make excuses, make improvements. So that is what I intend to do.

First confession time my pattern for a normal day is my alarm going off at 5:30...5:45....6:00 and then usually getting out of bed at 6:15 and leaving the apartment at 6:35. School from then until 2:30 work on grading and prep or tutorials until 3:20. Rehearsal 3:30-5:30 get home around 6. Flop on the couch read some not meaningful fluff and eat some dinner or watch something on Netflix while grading my papers. Except on Mondays I have FHE. I could go to institute during the week but I don't. I haven't in a really long time and it has nothing to do with my testimony or activity in the church or even the people. It is more my laziness and my justifications such as "I graduated from BYU-I and therefore graduated from Institute." It keeps me from feeling guilty most of the time. But not today.

If I think of my weekly pattern I have Church, Work, FHE, Work, Work, Work, Work, Day off to get everything done and social time. That is not a good pattern for the week or day. So to improve my day I will add a personal study with meaningful scripture study and prayer...now the hard part is when...morning, lunch or evening. The smartest would be in the morning. I had a stake president at school that pretty much told us we must study in the morning to put on the armor of God each day to resist the daily temptations. At the time there were a lot of people who just thought how dare he tell me when I do MY personal study. But he does make a good point. So with that being said I am going to try...nay I shall do it in the morning. If I wake up at 5:45 and get dressed I should have about a half hour to study. And to help me actually wake up at 5:45 according to the sleep calculator I should be asleep by 10:15 or 11:45 pm. I am going to aim for the 10:15. Now to improve my week I am going to go to institute on Thursday. All the while I am going to prepare for General conference this weekend.

Yay! This feels good and I know if I pull it off it will make everything else including work easier and smoother or at the least I will be able to handle it better. I will keep you updated on how it goes.

The Struggle is Real

So this post is probably going to be more therapy for me than anything else.

This is my first year teaching (besides the preschool) and it has been rough but good. I did not do as all of my peers advised. I did not start strict and then relax. I started loosy goosy and fun which was fine for most of my classes except for my biggest class. They constantly push the envelope with me.
I am lucky I really only have trouble with one of my classes trying to walk all over me and take advantage of me. But unfortunately, I have found that the only way I can get them to pay attention, respect me, and follow my classroom rules I have is to be super strict and mean. I honestly hate it. It stresses me out and I am saying things that I instantly regret because we are trying to get under each others skin and somehow I let them under mine. Those of you who know me, know that I am a very easy going person...well atleast I was. I find I have a whole new list of pet peeves that seriously grit at me and cause me to lose my patience. It doesn't help that they are on constant repeat 5 days a week.

This is really the main reason why I started my blog again. I have become a very negative and tired person since I have started teaching. It is hard and I need to vent and welll I am doing it all the time since the misbehavior and disrespect is so constant. But then I become that person where people ask you, "then why are you doing it?" And then you start questioning that yourself..."Why did I choose this career again?" I don't want to be that person. So in order for me to not explode I need to vent but to do it more constructively I will do it in my blog. Then I will finish off with positives and focusing on the reasons I have for becoming a teacher. It will not be done with good grammar since I will just be spewing things onto the page.

VENT # 1-Disrespect
               I have never seen a group of kids who feel they are entitled to respect but only GIVE it to those they like...including, teachers, cops and even principals. They argue when they are punished as if they don't deserve it and bad mouth and talk back to people they feel they don't need to respect because they don't like them. I'm sorry but I was taught those who have authority over me such as teachers, cops and principals are to be respected no matter if I like them or not because they are my elders.

The positive is not all of my kids are like that and the ones that aren't are the diamonds in the rough. Sweet and polite. I find it a privilege to have them in my class.

Update 2014-Grownup?

Wow how time flies when you have reached your career and are getting through by flying....by the seat of your pants. Yeap that is right, since I have written last I reached my goal of teaching secondary education. Matter of fact, my goal was to teach math and help with the theater at my old high school.... with my old teachers. And well I am doing it. About 8 months ago, while I was a counselor for EFY, I received a call from my old high school saying they wanted to higher me. At the time I was nervous about teaching the math and putting solid roots down with my big girl job but excited I reached my goal so quickly. I started off thinking I was ready for classroom management and boy was I wrong. I have never had a problem with relating to teenagers and being able to connect with the adolescent age. So I stupidly did not take the advice about starting off strict and then relax as the year goes by. If any of you who are reading this are student teaching right now or studying to be a teacher don't make the same mistake I made. I am paying for that mistake horribly right now.

I love the theatre part of it all though. Right now we are doing UIL and we have already advanced at zone and district. Our previous shows we did were Paganini and Frankenstein. Great experiences being an assistant director.

Anyways, other updates in my life is both of my sisters have moved back home to Texas with their kids and are divorced or separated from their husbands. I'm glad they are here and I get to spend time with my neices and nephew...and of course my sisters. I also upgraded apartments and since my old roommate got married I got a new roommate and 2 cats. And I got a new car. Needless to say with my job, car, and apartment I feel like I am a true grown up.