Lord's Timing: A copy of the talk I gave at church today.

I was asked today by a few people for a copy of my talk that I gave today in Sacrament meeting. It was a very personal talk that helped me more than anybody else....and since it explains my life right now I figured I would resurrect my "Life" blog and put it on here.

This is not a paper so think of it as a rough draft that still needs to be edited. Most of my talk came from Elder and Sister Oaks talk that you can find in this months ensign (Feb 2016) "Trust in Heaven's Timing" and Elder Oaks talk "Timing" that he gave at a BYU devotional on Jan 29th 2002.

" Imagine that your favorite hobby is stargazing and you’ve just joined a stargazing club. You come to your first club activity eager to participate. It’s a cold night, but you’re not concerned: most of the club members are wearing club jackets, and you’ve been told you should be able to get one as well. But there is no jacket for you. You ask about it, and you are told to keep looking and that if you do your best, you will find a jacket when the time is right.

“Meanwhile, you are getting pretty cold and a little worried. And you notice that most of the other club members are talking about how nice and warm their jackets are. In fact, throughout the evening the topic surfaces continually in various forms: how to wash and dry your jacket, how to add extra pockets, how to mend it, and so forth. Some of the club members notice you don’t have a jacket. ‘You really need a jacket for these activities,’ they tell you. ‘Why don’t you have one yet?’

If you had to compare something in life to that jacket, what would that be?

Elder Oaks in the talk that he and Sister Oaks gave brought this analogy up to help people realize and understand the feelings that come to those who are single in a church that has so much emphasis on families and marriage. But as you were listening maybe something different came to your mind. We all have righteous goals and desires. I would like you to keep this righteous goal or desire in your mind as I continue my talk.

 First let’s talk about waiting. At our age we watch people around us receive and achieve these desires and goals. But they haven’t happened for us yet. We may be truly happy for those around us but it doesn’t make waiting for these things to happen any easier.

Waiting is NOT fun. We hate it so much that we have these little boxes in our hand (refer to cell phone) that we stare at while waiting in a line or waiting for a table to be ready. I was in the temple this week and I was waiting for my friend to come out. As I sat awkwardly waiting, I thought to myself why does this feel so awkward. It was because I wanted to be doing something besides just waiting. How rare is it for us to just sit and do nothing without looking at our phones or computers? Just waiting has now become awkward torture.

Elder Uchtdorf said: "Waiting can be hard. Children know it, and so do adults. We live in a world offering fast food, instant messaging, on-demand movies, and immediate answers to the most trivial or profound questions. We don’t like to wait. Some even feel their blood pressure rise when their line at the grocery store moves slower than those around them.

Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer." 

Because it is so hard to wait we start having doubts and asking ourselves questions  “Did I do something wrong?” 

Sister Oaks shared her experience:

"I remember wondering how I could have such a beautiful patriarchal blessing full of promises—many of which did not seem realized. I thought, “Am I doing something wrong to delay my blessings?” This was much like the young man who asked the Savior, “What lack I yet?” (Matthew 19:20).

A close friend shared with me her experience with these same feelings. She said, “I found myself just repeating the same prayer over and over again. I prayed about finding my husband. It seemed fruitless, and I wondered if my prayer was getting through.”

Then she added, “It was then that I decided to pray a different type of prayer. I told the Lord that I had covenanted with Him, and however He wanted to use me to build the kingdom, I would accept. This perspective made me stronger and more patient. I began to feel Heavenly Father’s direction much more in my life. Of course, I still wanted my blessings, but I wanted to [receive them] on the Lord’s timetable.”

Sister Oaks friend realized that marriage is one of those desires that is hard to plan for. You have very little control over the timing of some desires such as marriage. What you do control is your acceptance of the Lord’s timing and plan for you.

I am the kind of person that likes to plan and be proactive for things that I want. I thought I learned the lesson of letting things be in the Lord’s hands when I cant control them. But recently I have entered a trial that has been more than I have had to bear when it comes to control and trusting God’s timing. Without going into details I would like to share this experience in general terms in case there is someone here who needs to hear it. Something in my life that I thought was solid started crumbling around me. I did not know why. I asked myself what am I doing wrong? Why is this happening to me? People who know of my proverbial avalanche were just as confused as I was. They kept telling me things like this shouldn’t be happening to you. This does not make sense. Which just confused me even more. If I know something is wrong I know to fix it. But I did not know why the avalanche was happening so I could not fix it. I prayed to the Lord asking why this is happening and what I should do to fix it. The answer I kept getting was don’t worry I got you. I am here for you. I love you. I appreciated those answers but it was not helpful for a solution. I’m getting buried here and I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing! Do I dig myself out or do I just leave and let it happen? Help! Again comfort and love but no solution. Word got around about my avalanche and I was told I should talk to lawyers because they were unlawfully blowing up my foundation and I should stick up for myself. Blech! Those of you who know me, know that I hate confrontation. It made me literally sick to my stomach to do what they were suggesting. The hardest part is there was a deadline for the decision I had to make concerning my avalanche. It kept getting closer and closer making me feel more stressed on trying to figure things out. I tried to make a pros and cons list but that didn’t help because there were too many determining factors. I ended up making a brain map that just proved to me that I have a lot of options and still no clue what I was supposed to do.  I decided to just go with what I desired most not knowing if it was the Lord’s plan or not. Then another avalanche happened. I thought Seriously?!?! This story is still in the process. I am still buried and in limbo of knowing what is going to happen but I do have now some life lines that could save me if they work out. Sometimes we have to be pushed off of something solid and comfortable in order to reach something better. That is what I trust is happening to me. It sucks! But I know that what is happening has nothing to do with something I did wrong or something I lack but the Lords plan for me. I mean getting an assignment to talk on the Lord’s timing helped that fact become even clearer.

So here we are waiting. Now what?

Oaks said:

"Because of things over which we have no control, we cannot plan and bring to pass everything we desire in our lives. Many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome. Even our most righteous desires may elude us or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan.

The timing of marriage is perhaps the best example of an extremely important event in our lives that is almost impossible to plan. Like other important mortal events that depend on the agency of others or the will and timing of the Lord, marriage cannot be anticipated or planned with certainty. We can and should work for and pray for our righteous desires, but despite this, many will remain single well beyond their desired time for marriage.

So what should be done in the meantime? Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost. In the exercise of that faith, we should commit ourselves to the priorities and standards we will follow on matters we do not control and persist faithfully in those commitments, whatever happens to us because of the agency of others or the timing of the Lord. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant."

What do we have control over? Who we are? Who we emulate Our daily choices? Our daily habits? Who we friend and follow? A cool friend or celebrity or the Savior and our Heavenly Father? We can control our priorities. Are we more worried about what others think of us or what the Lord thinks of us? We can control where we are on the path of spirituality while asking these inspired questions by Sister Valentine’ s devotional at BYU in 2004.

“What could I turn off, turn down, or tune out in order to hear the voice of the Spirit in my life? Am I doing anything in my life that is offensive to the Spirit and preventing the Holy Ghost from being my constant companion? Is there anything I could eliminate from my busy life so that I would have more time to be still, to study scriptures, ponder, and pray?”

How submissive am I to the will of the Lord in my life right now? How often do I try to counsel the Lord, rather than take counsel from Him?

Is there a sin or habit in my life for which I need to repent? Is there anyone in my life that I need to forgive?

When was the last time I received revelation from the Lord? How can I feel the love of the Lord more consistently in my life?

Elder Oaks continued

"The commitments and service of adult singles can anchor them through the difficult years of waiting for the right time and the right person. Their commitments and service can also inspire and strengthen others. Wise are those who make this commitment: I will put the Lord first in my life, and I will keep His commandments. The performance of that commitment is within everyone’s control. We can fulfill that commitment without regard to what others decide to do, and that commitment will anchor us no matter what timing the Lord directs for the most important events in our lives.

Commit yourself to put the Lord first in your life, keep His commandments, and do what the Lord’s servants ask you to do. Then your feet are on the pathway to eternal life. Then it does not matter whether you are called to be a bishop or a Relief Society president, whether you are married or single, or whether you die tomorrow. You do not know what will happen. Do your best on what is fundamental and personal and then trust in the Lord and His timing."

I feel like we in YSA feel like life passes us by if things don’t happen when we want them to.  I don’t have my degree yet and I am getting SO old, I am not married yet I am getting SO old. I don’t have a career yet…. I am SO old! People who are older shake their heads at us because they know we are not SO old.  It just feels like it because we are comparing ourselves to those who reached the finish line before we did. We all have similar goals but different time tables this is not a race but a journey. Enjoy the journey and while on this journey learn as much as you can and become that person that the Heavely Father knows you can be. Then we are not racing or waiting but enjoying the journey as it comes.

Elder Steur of the 70 said:

"Hence, even though we may set goals, establish procedures, make plans, and act nobly, we may not control the immediate results. We must continue, however, to seek the good, establish the right, and walk humbly in the full faith that God guarantees the just and merciful outcome."

Yes I am in the midst of conflict I feel buried and I am unsure of my future. Some of you might be in the same boat. If so take comfort in knowing if we are striving to do what is right and staying on the path of righteousness then the Lord will take care of us. We need to trust that and trust in the Lord’s timing.

Testimony